New blog.


marykaylin.tumblr.com

"I pray that Christ will become more precious to me as I become less precious to people." John Piper

Life feels mundane. Must be the rainy weather.


Maybe a morning run through downtown Atlanta will spark interest.


If you don't hear from me in 24 hours, I ran to the airport and hopped on the next flight to Paris. You can find me here:

xkcd addiction.

“[Imagination] is the preview of life's coming attractions.” Albert Einstein

I'm certain all my daydreaming has ruined ordinary, day-to-day life forever.

"Your need for God is never more or less. It is always total and absolute." John Piper

This weekend was so good. I love going home. 


Wore high heels to class today for a presentation. Forgot to bring sandals, so I've been trudging around campus with developing blisters. 


On a more positive note, I'm making a turkey burger with black bean and corn relish for lunch. So excited.

Sitting in 4210. 


Professor is flapping his arms like a pigeon. Get me out of here.

"The only safe rule is to give more than [you] can spare." CS Lewis

Determined to organize my life. Created Google documents labeled "Health and Wellness," "Finances," and "Daydreamer." Accountability is good, right?


In other news, I really want one of these:

Dear Daddy Long Legs,


I stole you from Jean Webster. I'm sure she understands. Sometimes a girl needs a handsome benefactor to talk to (however fictional you may be). 


I hope you don't get the wrong idea. This friendship, however stimulating, is strictly platonic. 


See, I fell in love a long time ago. His name is Cash Rawlings, and he lives between the pages of City Girl. I don't think God Himself could create a man as perfect as the one stealing Reagan Sullivan's heart in Chapter 6.


You should read it. If I could inspire readers to fall in love, I'd move to Barcelona tomorrow to write novels and drink wine all day.


Yours,


Mary K. Staub (the) I

In the last 24 hours, I've eaten nothing but candy. Literally. Candy bracelets, candy buttons, candy roses. By 2 o'clock, my teeth were covered in an inch of corn syrup and artificial coloring. By 8, I was jumping on my bed from corn syrup overdose. Passed out at 11, woke up with a hangover.


I have the self control of a five-year-old. 

I've decided to write a book. What's worth reading?

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

CS Lewis

I just love that.

"If anyone ever saw me dance, they'd have trouble taking me seriously." Christina Ricci

Antique chair project progressing nicely. I need a craft room.

This summer is going to be crazy. Graduation, weddings, beach vacation, job search. 

I can't wait. I miss freckles, tan legs and sundresses.

Sorry for yesterday's blog post. It was decidedly depressing. It's a new year, after all. 

Tonight's plans: 

Distress antique chair (found, abandoned, at nearby storage unit). Hello, sandpaper.

Drink two glasses of wine.

Listen to every song on every Celine Dion album.

Paint nails an obnoxious shade of coral. 

Wear two sets of Crest Whitestrips. Ignore sensitive teeth and aching pain.

Determined to read The Problem of Pain by CS Lewis this semester. I really want to understand Jesus. I just... don't. "Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness."

Peace is an elusive little thing. 

In The Shack, author William P. Young references "the Great Sadness." It's like an overcast sky; there are no dark, ominous clouds, no alarming thunderstorms, but there's no great light, either. Everything is just grey, muted, dull. 

I feel calloused and raw, willing and reluctant, open and closed. All at the same time. 

I may run away. After graduation, of course. What good am I without that little piece of paper? 

Destinations include London, Ireland, and Colorado. I need a change of scenery. New faces, new conversations. People who don't know me. People who don't ask where I went to to school or what I want to do.

I just don't know if I'm brave enough to leave.

Some days are better than others.

A few days ago, I was fine. Happy, even.  Today, I'm empty. The sadness is overwhelming. 

Emmanuel, God with us. "No one told me that grief felt so like fear." CS Lewis

So glad the semester is wrapping up. Two projects and a spring semester away from freedom. Post-graduation plans still pending. Best ideas include European hostiles, big planes, and interior decorating. Open to suggestions.

Christmas is only 27 days away. I haven't done any shopping. None. Zip, zilch, nada.

Great.

Stayed up late talking to siblings #3, #4, and #5. #2 is always missing. Fraternity + girlfriend < family. I think he forgot.


Joseph (13, #5, bottom of the food chain) is one of my four favorites. Every time I come home, he acts like I'm returning from war. "Kaaaaaaylin! You're here!" Hello, stardom.

It's strange to think that four years ago I was ready to graduate high school. My heart hasn't changed. I feel like the same girl, just surrounded by different walls and people. 

Dad organized a meeting with a marketing firm that specializes in non-profit organizations. They host high profile events for huge charities. I think I could love that. I want to feel like I'm making the world a better place, one champagne flute at a time.

Anyway, I made oatmeal cookies after all. The normal kind, with flour and eggs and 8.8 grams of fat per serving. Baking them felt like some sick form of torture. They say 90% of taste is smell. So untrue.