Beginning to understand a fraction of who I am. It's not pretty. The moment I think I understand the enormity of my sin, it surprises me. 


It's overwhelming, realizing I do nothing good on my own. I play at kindness, at humility, at mercy, at love. It's like looking in a mirror covered in dirt, soap scum and toothpaste, and wiping a small corner clean with a rag called "trying." The more I try, the more I see who I really am. The bitterness, the selfishness, the envy, the lying. 


It's so much simpler to sing "oh, how He loves us" when sitting in a church pew. Believing it is nearly impossible.