In the last 24 hours, I've eaten nothing but candy. Literally. Candy bracelets, candy buttons, candy roses. By 2 o'clock, my teeth were covered in an inch of corn syrup and artificial coloring. By 8, I was jumping on my bed from corn syrup overdose. Passed out at 11, woke up with a hangover.


I have the self control of a five-year-old.